Tormented Mind
by Kitsune-the-fox
Summary: After the Promising Day, nothing went like we planned. Yes, Al have his body, Father got destroyed, and everything seems to be back to normal, but what with Ed ? What happened to Ed ? Contains Spoil on FMA:B, yaoi (BoyXBoy) Don't like, don't read. Summary sucks a little, the story is better.


**_Hi, everyone ! Yes I'm back with a new story. I know many wanted a sequel to Forever or Never, but really, I wrote that one as just a one-shot. So, I thought I will offer this story to make amends. Sorry if my english is not okay, like I already said, that's not my language. It's a RoyEd (I know you expected it xD), so if you don't like, don't read. Also, it will contains in later chapters sexual themes, so it's rated M for a good reasons. Don't go tell I didn't warn you ! None of Fullmetal Alchemist belong to me, it's all Hiromu Arakawa. _**

**_Enjoy ! ;)_**

**_Author note : The following sections is all a point of view of a FMA character. Try guessing who's who. _**

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_In_ _the laws of alchemy, it says that nothing is gain without giving in return. It's what we call the Equivalent Exchange. We can't transmute a certain mass without giving the same in return. This law is trying to be everywhere in our lives. People help and are helped, give and receive. There's little where the uncrossable law can't be respected. In my part, I knew only one person in this case. It often says that genius walks in hand with dementia. I never believed it. Today, something is telling me that the people said that were, in fact, not very far from the truth. _

_For Edward Elric, life's never been easy. And I continue to believe it will never be, but I hope that I can bring some sparks of joy in this dark and tormented life that was Ed's. _

* * *

_Nobody is really free. There are always chains to hind us, to stop us to act like we would have wanted. Freedom is an abstract concept, each of us defines it differently, but majority agree on one thing: freedom comes with a price, and this price, it's the choice. Every choice we make, insignificant ones like choosing clothes or what we're eating, to the big ones, like decision to save a life or another, that's the kind of choice that make what we will be. But even in the case where choices definite our freedom, it is also chains to pin it to the ground. Then, back to the main point: nobody is actually free. _

_I'm not very old. Seventeen years old, it's little. But, in these seventeen years of life, four passed in an empty armour, I saw sparkles of despair, happiness, a smile lightening golden eyes, and I observed that true freedom, it doesn't exist. If my big brother, who's the most free that I knew, is not, then it's that freedom is nothing but a fairy tale created to give false hopes to people. _

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_I saw wars. I saw death given by violent acts, or cold-hearted; horrible things that fear could push people to do; despair in the eyes of a soldier who would probably die. Despite that, I also saw hope in men believing to see their loved ones one day. I lived the feeling of killing, for a bad or good cause. I believed myself capable to recognize a tormented spirit. _

_Then, long after the war, I met Edward Elric and Alphonse Elric. In the eyes of the eldest was shining the blaze of determination, the one to bring back his brother's body whatever was the costs. These eyes moved me, and even if the legendary quarrels between my commanding officer and him pushed me to intervene menacingly, I liked the young alchemist. _

_But after the Promising Day, I understood that all the experiences I got in the war had no value. In front of Edward, I knew nothing. _

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_Journey is good. It allows us to understand the world around us, to know how the alchemy flow is important. During these years of roaming, presenting me as a housewife only on passage with her husband, I learned. Then, these children appeared out of nowhere, begging me to take them as apprentices to master alchemy. At the first look, they were only loud and insisting brats. At the second, they became orphans with this flame in the eyes, this thirst of knowledge. _

_Years after, it was a teen with eyes burning with determination and an empty armour that I was seeing on my door, in Dublith. People changes, it's undeniable. I believed myself, after my own attempt at human transmutation, capable to recognize the signs. In the end, my own apprentices sacrificed their innocence for the alchemy. But, after the Promised Day, everything's changed. If the youngest one actually came back in his body, I didn't say the same for the eldest. Edward Elric always had his inner demons to fight. _

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_I always believed that after the Promised Day, there will be an end, that we will have finally that peace so deserved. If I knew… I should have known that the Gate is never merciful with those who cross his territory. _

* * *

- Look, a ladybug! said the little girl with a high-pitched voice.

- Rosie, ladybug are not interesting. It take at least a cricket.

The girl grimaced.

- But, it's ugly ! I like the ladybug more, she insisted, sad.

It was useless, her brother wasn't listening anymore. Disappointed, the child watched the tiny red and black bug that was climbing along a tree branch. She would have loved to take the ladybug, but her big brother, Ben, didn't want her to. For him, when they went to bugs chasing, there was only ugly insects that interested him.

A finger picked the tiny insect that climbed cheerfully on the hand, and Rosie raised his head to look at the young man who was smiling lightly at her. He stretched his hand with the ladybug toward her, and the girl grinned. She presented her jar, and the boy put in the insect, and then, she closed the jar with a lid with holes to let pass air.

- Thank you, Mister Edo !

He tilted his head and gave her a sign to catch her brother, already at the end of the trail. Rosie rushed over him, so glad of her new catch, whilst the young man followed slowly, always with that little smile on his lips. Near her brother, while he searched thoroughly some ugly insects, Rosie watched their guardian. She was a little sad for Mister Edo. He never talked and was living alone. She also found that his eyes were empty. Yet, he was always gentle with them. He always accepted to accompany them in their bug's chase in the wood or in the field, and sometimes helped them with their homework. Rosie thought that she would like that someday, Mister Edo would be happy, that he talk and have friends of his age. But it may never happen.

- Hey, Rosie ! Look at that ! Ben said.

The little girl frowned.

- If it's a horrible millipede, I don't want to see, she said as she saw her brother's closed hand to keep his catch to flee.

He shook his head.

- No, it's not. Look !

He opened his hand. In between, a butterfly slowly fluttered its wings. A beautiful monarch black and yellow, with abstract drawings. The little girl widened her eyes.

- Wow ! It's so cute ! Don't you think, Mister Edo ?

The young man behind her slowly nodded, his eyes on the butterfly. While the pair raved on the bug enthousiatly, nobody could see the pained expression that passed on the face of their guardian. A pain, not physical, but psychological that ate him up on the inside.

Later that night, a unique word echoed in the obscurity of a little wooden house, at the end of the village.

- Alphonse…

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_**R&R, I want your impressions on my first real fic in English !** ^^_


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